I sink down in my chair and my mind drifts back … back to when I was cold and afraid but now it seems to be even colder and I’ve been losing fuel for my fire , the suns fading away , my last petals on the ground. I long for a crutch , something to renew me , someone to believe. All my life I’ve been surrounded by letdowns and excuses , fourteen years of looking for the truth. It’s getting blurry up ahead as my futures buried six feet under , flowers won’t do it and prayers don’t help. It’s just me and the world. It’s foggy up ahead and I can faintly see the end , but it’s so much better with your hand in mine. Lately I’ve been letting things go , unwritten letters , unsaid calls , chipped nail polish , rough legs careless I know. So many things to do , so many things left unsaid. Just when the water begins to look clear technology sweeps through and the road gets bumpy again. My father cried today , the rain drops hit my face and drifted to my cold bare feet and I could feel his arms around me , he was in my bedroom last night singing me to sleep , and he passed the salt at the dinner table this evening. But then he’s gone again , another broken heart , more tears run down my cheek and once again the blades lowered to the skin , one stroke and I ‘ m out , I wake to your warmth I look deep In your eyes , I’m reminded there’s hope , my hearts one again , my wounds are healed and the tears are dried .. Without you I would have said my goodbyes a long time ago ..